Half-time match report

This is the last day of my first visit to Shanghai. Perhaps a Bridget Jones style wrap up:

Weight: 80kg (I have heavy bones, alright?)
Weight lost: 5kg
Pigeons: 12
Jelly fish: 1
Scallops: 25 ish
Frogs: 20
Chillis: 245 (est.)
Stinky tofu: 1.5 units
Alcohol: several thousand units

This has been an inspirational, wonderful experience. I have enjoyed every minute of it in one way or another. China is by turns fun, frustrating, exciting, interesting and most of all different. I absolutely love it here. I am dying to get home to see my family, but when I do, I know that I will be looking forward with real excitement to bringing them back here in August with me.

The August trip will no doubt be very different (unless Abigail absolutely insists that I go out partying with Tony). The work I am doing is progressing well thanks of course largely to Tony's willingness to spend time on this project when he has many others on the go. A concerted effort in August and September will be required to move things on in time to launch in 2008.

There are many, many people to thank for encouraging and allowing me to be here. I will take care of that at the end of the second instalment of this blog. Oh you didn't think you would get away with it that easily did you? Look out for more drivel from me polluting the blogosphere in a little over a month.

As I write this, someone is letting off firecrackers outside the hotel. Perfect.

A universal law - broken!

There is an unwritten rule amongst men, that if you go to take a leak, you don't stand next to another man, if there is another unoccupied urinal more than one space away from him. It's out of politeness and respect for those rare moments of contemplation and satisfaction accompanied by the tinkling sound of running water - it's a kind of zen garden for men, if you will.

The calm of the men's bathroom in the lobby at the White Swan Hotel in Guangzhou - equipped with no less than 10 pissoirs - was shattered for me as 3 blokes wandered in and proceeded to line up on either side of me until we peed 4 abreast.

Perhaps it's some kind of subconscious Chinese agoraphobia which exhibits itself only when one is - unusually - faced with too much space or an uncrowded area? I don't know.

Shenzhen and Guangzhou

At the risk of offending the several million people who live there (look - yet again, I daringly risk overloading you with factual nuggets that you just won't find in any other guidebooks), I didn't find anything particularly remarkable about Shenzhen. Southern China seems much more lush and green - a consequence of even more ludicrous humidity than Shanghai - and Shenzhen nestles in some hilly bits, which is nice.

After more meetings Tony and I decided to take the train onwards to Guangzhou where we have another set of appointments with potential partners for the project we are working on. Shenzhen and Guangzhou basically seem to be joined up by some of the most awful housing and toxic light industrial stuff that you could ever imagine. In parts, the conditions appeared to be so dire that only the clothes hanging on the line gave the game away that people - lots of people - were living in some of the buildings. The seemingly random, sprawling network of brick, concrete and corrugated iron sometimes went on for miles at a time, interspersed only occasionally with submerged fields and crops.

As I gawped at the scenery and tried to make sense of it, my feelings of guilt and unease as I sped by in smug, air-conditioned comfort were made much worse by the thought "Christ, imagine being a postman here" that inadvertently popped into my mind. Sorry.

Guangzhou is another gargantuan city. I am in a smart hotel with excellent views from the 24th floor. There is non-stop river traffic below me and I can take in how enormous the place is. It's buzzing and exciting, like Shanghai and Beijing. After an excellent dinner (I think I will use short hand ED from now on to avoid repetitive strain injury from typing the words) Tony took me to meet his friends Raymond and Helen at a massage parlour.

For those of you - including my saintly wife - who have been lucky enough to hear my Vietnam massage parlour story (fending off the small but persistent Quac Phuc Sock in Ho Chi Minh city) let me reassure you that this was a foot massage in a totally legitimate family-friendly organisation. I am very ticklish but by biting on my finger I managed to very much enjoy the experience . The foot massage - not the finger biting.

When Abigail comes to Shanghai in August, she can have a foot massage every evening in the place over the road from the apartment we will be living in. But no optional extras.

Suits you, Sir

Another action packed weekend. More obscenely good food at absurdly low prices to a gross gourmand like myself. My culinary tour of Asia moved on to Korea and then a two day stop over in Japan.

South Korean food is spicy and delicious (North Korean food is more difficult to find - especially if you live in North Korea). Cooking it yourself on a tabletop barbecue with the firepower of an out of control gas flare is a blast too. And anyone who has ever gasped at the bill in a posh sushi place in London will find themselves in nirvana here. I went very upscale at Shintori (very hip warehouse style place too) and also Sun and Aqua on The Bund. Just in case my colleague Patricia reads this, I will refrain from mentioning that dinner with Michael on Friday night (which was up there on the quality scale with anything I've ever eaten in London), including 2 bottles of wine, cost £66. Oh sorry.

I went partying with Tony on Saturday night but left early - fatigued from Friday night and all this tireless, incessant restaurant research which I am engaged in purely for the sake of my saintly wife Abigail who will be reading this too as she eats the children's leftovers. Sunday found me refreshed and it was back to the grindstone for me. Yes Sirrree, no rest for the wicked! First stop, lunch at Dian Shi Zhai restaurant with Isabella and her husband Eric. Superb Shanghainese cuisine including delicious spicy (not stinky) tofu, long-tailed anchovies deep fried until the bones melt in your mouth and leave a lovely sweet flavour, and many other fantastic dishes.

Shanghai is short on greenery - Shiji Park (Century Park) is about as grassy as it gets. We spent the afternoon there trying to escape the ridiculous heat by taking to the lake in a boat. The musical fountains (Colonel Bogey anyone?) added a surreal aspect to the afternoon.

5pm - just time to visit my tailor and pick up my new threads before dinner... The shirts are excellent, fit perfectly and let's remind ourselves that they are 100% cotton and cost £6.66 each. The suit is pretty dapper actually. Timothy Everest probably isn't going to be giving up the game in a huff when he sees the attention to detail, but nonetheless it kicks the pants of most off-the-peg stuff that I've bought. Unless you are built like a model (I'm built like a model - a model of a sea-cow) most suits from the high street look like you've still got the coat hanger in when you try them on. This one fits beautifully although dare I say it, with my recent weight loss, it could do with being a bit more fitted.

Me and Tony are flying to Shenzhen for meetings tomorrow and then onwards by train to Guangzhou. I find it hard to imagine, but aparently it's even hotter down there at the moment. But don't worry, apparently the food is great.